they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
