She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
this beer tastes like vomit already
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
