i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
