someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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