Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize