You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
