out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
