i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
