How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize