Kiss
Puke
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
