there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
