So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He felt like a one man threesome
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
