Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize