Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
