Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
