We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
