Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Even my vagina gasped.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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