standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
