Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I can't turn off my feet"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
