I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
