So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize