She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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