HIV tests are more positive than that guy
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
