My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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