Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
