Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
