dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
