how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
tell your sister to shave her snatch
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
