Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
