My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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