Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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