There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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