forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Green mimosas i think yes
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
And then my night got REAL pukey
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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