Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i don't like sucking hair
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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