Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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