I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
