So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize