I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
