Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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