Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
they're like a gay fantastic four
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
