Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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