just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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