i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
There r osticjed everywhere
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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