First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
