some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
