Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
