you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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