Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
