$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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