Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize