i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
