I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
