Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
