Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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