what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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