omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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