She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
