You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
