So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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