he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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