Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
