I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize