Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
