I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
