I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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