let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
