Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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