Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
