I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
