How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
