so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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