no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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