Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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