I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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